he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
