Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
