watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
