i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
