There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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