Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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