Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
