My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
