Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
