Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
