I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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