I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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