I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
