Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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