yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
