i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
