i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Someone shattered a urinal.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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