who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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