he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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