We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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