The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
