WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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