Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
