ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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