Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need water and some morals
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
