I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
