i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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