The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
