basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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