No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
