so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
