vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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