JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
