Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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