I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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