We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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