Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just cut my nipple shaving
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
