Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We need a shit load of segways right now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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