There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
