i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
