Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
