...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
