The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
