Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I didn't notice because vodka
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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