Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
