Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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