I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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