I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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