why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He passed out mid-signature
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
