shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you traded sex for a burrito?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize