Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i permit you to call me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
