He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
