But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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