She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
